Note: This story was originally featured in the Fathers & Families Center 2017 Annual Report. It is meant to help illustrate the personal struggles that 

Grit, resilience, perseverance; three words that define Thomas A. Frey’s fatherhood journey. Born in Lexington, Kentucky, Thomas did not know his biological father since his mother left him early due to abuse. After meeting his stepdad who welcomed Thomas as his son, his mother decided it was time for a fresh start; and they moved to Indianapolis when Thomas was two years old. Nine years later, Thomas became a big brother. A second brother followed three years later. Yet, as his younger brothers started to grow, something in Thomas changed. He started rebelling against his parents, hanging out with the wrong crowd and being particularly cruel to his stepdad – constantly reminding him that he was not his “real dad.” As his life continued to spiral, he found himself enrolled in Kokomo Academy Boys School where he eventually earned his GED; and then working odd jobs and cycling in and out of jail.

When Thomas turned 20, he became a proud and frightened new father to baby girl: Alexis Lynn Frey. Often leaning on his mother for parenting advice, he soon welcomed two new additions to his growing family: Destiny Elizabeth and McKenzie Peyton. Then his world shifted again when his mother, Christine, passed in 2012 after a long battle with lung cancer and his “rudder” was no longer there. Trying to regain his balance as a man and a father, Thomas was referred to Fathers and Families Center in 2013. For the first time, he started focusing on his life and on his relationship with his daughters. Through pure grit, resilience and perseverance, fatherhood became his top priority and he fought hard for it. Yet in the eye of the storm, there is a calm and Thomas met an amazing woman: his fiancé, Stephanie. And as his stepdad did for him, Thomas welcomed Kristopher Elliot into his life– Stephanie’s son. Thomas and Stephanie have a strong, supportive and loving relationship and are committed to family. However, Thomas is still fighting to have a relationship with his daughters. Also, Thomas realizes now that his stepdad really was, and always has been, his “real dad;” one that made a tremendous impact on his life–the same kind of impact that he wants to make for his children. To this day, he has a very close relationship with his dad. What’s next? Thomas’ story does not end here. His story is still being written.